Double edged sword

I was blow drying my hair yesterday and got to thinking (I have to take whatever opportunity to think that comes along) about my giant list of to do's and everything that needs to be done for my kids, Young Womens, school, the house, Robert, Christmas, our finances, my blog, my to be read book list, my diet - or lack thereof, the environment, ......... AUGH! I feel a bit over loaded, I think that is the normal for moms, at least the normal for me but it has become much more intense lately. In that moment I realised that this blog has become a lot like my journal, this wonderful place to express myself (here publicly, my Journal, a little more privately) a place to connect and share. But it has also become just like my journal in the pressure I feel just by it's very existence. It is always on my to do list always nagging at me, sometimes silently and sometimes actually (through comment by readers, honest I am not that crazy yet hearing voices from my blog) . This blog has become a double edged sword for me something wonderful when its good but something dark and draining when its bad. So I have decided to shake free of all of it. No, I am not shutting down my blog I am just rejecting the pressure, I will post when it makes me happy, period. If that is once a month, great, if its once every 2 months, fine, if its 3 times in one week, great! I am taking it off my to do list and taking it off my guilt list!!! Honestly I need to do this with many, many more things in my life but here it is manageable, controllable, and absolutely no one will be harmed in anyway if I am an inconsistent, undependable, blogger. I think I need to save my dependability and consistency for other things I would hate to run out.

We Start Young Aound Here!

Emily went to her first rock concert tonight!! We had so much fun! A couple of weeks ago I bought tickets to see Goo Goo Dolls on the 16th and Sheryl Crow on the 21st of October. These concerts have seemed doomed for us, I was going to see Goo Goo Dolls with Erin but she and I both got sick and couldn't go. Then Jessica was going to go see Sheryl Crow with me but she got sick today and couldn't go. I really didn't want to go by myself and Erin and Joy both had things they had to do. I figured I was just out of luck, then I thought "hey maybe Emily might want to go!" She did and we had a blast. It was so cute to see her out of her seat dancing to the music clapping along and totally loving the experience. Hey she is my kid after all!! The Concert was at the State Fair so afterward Emily went on a few rides and we had a really great night together. I think I have found a new concert buddy!

Maroon 5 and Counting Crows

September 10, 2008

Maroon 5

Counting Crows

Emily Johnson and Erin

Us Girls having fun

About 2 months ago Emily Johnson, one of the laurels in my class, came into Young Women's a little sad and unhappy. She had found out that Counting Crows was coming to Phoenix in concert but none of her friends wanted to go and her parents understandably didn't want her to go by herself. Then she remembered that I like Counting Crows (we talked bands on the drive back from the Trek) so she said "we should go Sister Bradfield". I am not sure if she was serious but I thought that would be fun so I told her it sounded like a great idea. When I got home I checked on tickets and talked to Erin and texted Emily and just like that we got tickets. It has been fun talking about it and looking forward to it and then it finally came. It was so much fun Emily is a blast to be around so sweet and fun and she and Erin together are even crazier and funner than each of them alone. The music was great Maroon 5 was way better than I expected and Counting Crows was great of course. This is the third time I have seen them in concert and they never disappoint me. I love live music you feel it rather than just hear it. Hmmm who should we see next.

My Gift of Perspective

I have been wallowing a bit lately its not pretty and definitely not something I am proud of but still true. Our ward just got moved to another stake which in and of itself is a good thing. All my girls in YW are now in the stake that most of the kids they go to school with are in. They will be with their seminary friends etc. for stake events. But as I began to hear murmurings and they are just that, murmurings it looks like there is a good chance the ward boundaries in the stake will be changed. We live in a tiny little jut of our ward, right on the border which would easily be split off and put into another ward. If this happens I of course will be released and I will be in a different ward than 90% of the people I have grown to love and be friends with in our ward. I have built my life around the Young Women, and my work there, maybe too much but still true nevertheless. Thinking of my life without my girls AND my friends in Elliot ward was bleak. So I wallow. As I was wallowing I was doing some blog stalking, checking out the blogs of friends of friends etc. I happened onto a Blog by Bethany's brother, Trey and his wife. (Bethany is one of Jessica's really good friends.) As I read I began to cry and then before long I knew I was done wallowing. I had been given the gift of perspective. Sometimes we can get so focused on tiny little things that the big picture becomes unclear. On this blog I read about how Treys wife Amber lost her baby sister, her mom delivered early and the baby was just not strong enough to survive, she lived a very short time and passed away. This baby was only 2 weeks earlier than Emily was and as I read I could see myself in Amber's mothers place and I felt so grateful for our Emily and all she has brought to our lives and so grateful she has been so healthy considering she was more than 9 weeks early and so ashamed I forgot all I have and all the Lord has done for me. If the ward splits it does, I know the Lord will look after me and make it OK or make me strong enough to find a new way. He always does I don't know why I can't hold on to that. I hate how easy it is to forget the big picture and I am grateful for this blogging medium so I could read baby Jades story and be reminded of how much the Lord loves all of us. Reading Amber's testimony through this, the hard questions and the loving acceptance of Gods will. It is amazing and testimony building. I felt the spirit so strongly in her words. There is so much of true importance in this life and it is so easy to get caught up in the unimportant, I am grateful for the Lord and his way and for my gift of perspective.

Emily's Broken Arm

Emily BROKE her arm!!! It was the weirdest thing a totally regular childhood fall, she tripped while she was getting out of a chair. She only fell like 2 feet onto carpeted floor! But it was unfortunately enough. At first I didn't take it totally seriously it just looked like a regular everyday kids fall, brush her off, kiss the owie, and on with the day. She was crying pretty good but Emily can be a little....shall we say whinny at times and Jessica was here so I figured she was putting on a good show for Sister. But then she started to look not right and she got all clammy and cold and sweating profusely at the same time. Well my crack first aid training kicked in (that would be from like a jillion years of girls camp) and it looked to me like she was going into shock. Well in my experience kids don't go into shock for regular everyday falls so I made a call to the doctors office. They thought she should be seen and of course they had no openings so we were off to Urgent care. I was still thinking this was just precautionary she was looking better and I couldn't imagine that fall had actually broken anything. But when the xrays came back I was wrong, she had broken both the radius (the big bone in your forearm) and the ulna, (the little one next to the radius). They are both incomplete breaks which means they were only broken partway through the bone, (about 75% of the radius and about 25% of the ulna). I guess this is fairly common in kids they call it a green stick fracture because it breaks like a green stick off a tree, it just bends and splinters instead of a sharp break. Fortunately it is no where near her growth plate and it should heal really well. They had us go to a pediatric orthopedist to get her cast which she will have to wear for a month and then she will get a brace that she will wear for another 2 months. It sounds like a long time but they said the healing should go really well they just want to protect it so there is no re injury. We have changed things a bit around here because she can't play actively much so we got her some Webkins and have been reading a lot, she is hooked on the Magic Tree house books and I have become well acquainted with Jack and Annie (the main Characters). I guess that is the story of life, something bad happens and then when you look hard, sometimes you have to look really, really hard you can see the good. So far in my life that is always true. Emily and I are really enjoying our time together reading and playing on the computer and just being together. She is such a joy in my life. I will be forever grateful for the Lords intervention on this one. :)

Emliy and her broken arm, just the splint, before she got her cast on. Look at that smile! Thank goodness for pediatriac pain meds!!

Emily getting her cast. (Thats Brownie in the backgroung getting her cast too)

Emily and her doggie, Brownie, Emily adopted this sad pup the day she broke her arm. Brownie broke her arm the very same day, imagine that! So these two are going through all this broken arm business together.

Weekend in Forks

Considering I told everyone I would be spending this weekend in Forks visiting with Bella, Edward and Jacob I figure I should report. I will give no spoilers I would hate to ruin this fantastic book for anyone but I just have to tell you I had a great weekend!! Breaking Dawn is sooooo good it is better than Twilight, definitely better than New Moon, and even better than Eclipse, my favorite up until now. I got the book Saturday at 10AM but couldn't start reading in earnest till 3pm and I finished up it's 754 pages this morning (Monday) if that gives you any idea how good it is. Everything I had hopped would happen happened but I never would have dreamed HOW it happened. Now those of you who aren't weird about books like me may wonder about my sanity right about now but we bookies are happy in our fantasy worlds. Don't knock what you don't understand, it's nice in here. Unfortunately the laundry and the dishes and the rest of my responsibilities have patiently awaited my return from Forks so I guess I better get back to my real life. But I will be searching for the next great adventure in the pages of a fantastic book.

My New Office

I really love my kids and I am not in any huge hurry to get them out of our house. I love having them around and am not looking forward to having an empty nest. (Now that we have Emily the nest won't be totally empty for awhile.) But there is one perk, lets call it compensation for missing them, and that is space!! Our house is not tiny, no one needs to feel sorry for us but with 4 kids and a dog our 2000 Sq ft were feeling a little cramped. When Jessica moved out it wasn't so cramped but there really was no extra, now..... Jason has moved out (he found a place with several friends) and we have an EXTRA room. Woo Hoo!! Ok honestly, I will miss the kid but he is 20 after all and I am just trying to look at the bright side here. So very quickly before anyone got any ideas I claimed his room and moved in. Now I have a place for my computer, all my Young Women stuff and for scrapbooking! Yea! I put a bed in there for guests, (I can share) and the random nap which you can see Buddy has already claimed. I have a litttle tv, my computer, and a place to sit and read, what more could a mom want. Oh guess what? It has DOORS too! that CLOSE! and LOCK! oh boy I think this may just be too much!

Breaking Dawn

OK while I am on a the subject of books and sharing my "addiction" with all of you I have to mention 'Breaking Dawn' the new book by Stephanie Meyer. Yea!! Hooray!! It is coming out in 2 weeks it is the 4th and supposedly final book in the Twilight series.

So I am planning to reread the first 3 this week and next so everything is fresh. I did that when the 7th Harry Potter came out and it made it soo much better. (I told you its an addiction fortunately there are no rehab centers for psycho readers because I am not interested in any kind of recovery.) This is a series I started reluctantly, very reluctantly! It is basically about vampires and a girl that is in love with one. I hate vampires, I won't watch vampire movies, and of all the mythical creatures out there the idea of a creature that thirsts for blood really freaks me out. But after enough pressure from all my YW, Pam and Megan, Kristi and a slew of others (yes peer pressure still is a problem for grownups) I gave in just to... well shut them up. It is a testament to the writing ability of the author that I got hooked. I had to find out what happened to Bella, and Edward and Jacob too (yes I am one of the weird ones who really like Jacob). I have shared the obsession with many, it is one of those books you have to tell people about just so you have another person to talk "Twilight" with. Jason's girlfriend Kelsie is my newest convert and she is totally hooked!! As you can probably guess Saturday after next I will be at Costco when they open, buying my copy of Breaking Dawn, and I probably won't get much of anything done that weekend but I will have a wonderful visit to Forks, Washington.

FABLEHAVEN

I have a new favorite book series!! I know I have said this many times before so I think the position is not a permanent one. The book series is Fablehaven and they are sooooo good. I have been in a bit of a reading frenzy this summer, I have read like 18 books since school got out, (some of them I listened to on my Ipod). I really don't know why I have been reading so much more than normal, maybe its the heat, or I am trying to keep my mind off of everything I can't eat (I am trying to lose a few pounds but that's another post) or maybe its the looser schedule because school is out. But I have immersed myself in these characters worlds, a family of Penderwicks, a crazy funny bounty hunter, a dead girl watching her family recover, a school shooter, a few couples in love, a kidney transplant patient figuring out how to live again, a ranger studying wolves and solving murders, and a author revealing her real past. In this company you would think it would be pretty hard to stand out but my new favorite really shines. There are 3 books so far in the Fablehaven series by Brandon Mull so I am a little late to this bandwagon. Several of the girls in my ward had read them and raved so I took the first one with me to girls camp thinking I could read at bedtime, big mistake, I read all the way on the bus there and was so hooked by the time we got to camp that it was all I could do to do my job there and not sneak off and read. So this week I have finished book 1, read book 2 and 3 and am now so sad to be done. (book 4 doesn't come out till spring) The books are about a preserve for magical creatures, the caretakers of this preserve and the adventures and trouble they find trying to keep the preserve safe. It is the perfect mix of fantasy and reality to grab your imagination and make you want to escape to the world they live in. I know I am a huge book nerd but I have come to accept that and love it anyway. Join me!! It's fun! Drink the milk!! (Fablehaven reference)

One Wet Graduation

May 22, 2008

Erin has graduated from High School!!! AHHHH I can't believe it my baby (she was my baby for 12 years) has graduated from high school. And what a graduation it was!! We live in Arizona, Gilbert, Arizona you know desert, cactus, HOT HOT HOT, where it rains seldom and pours even less. Usually in May our biggest concern is will it be too hot, we were uncomfortably warm at Jessica's graduation but not this year. We woke up graduation day to a drizzle and were wondering what they were going to do if it rained. Erin went to practice and they said they had an alternate plan in case of weather so we didn't worry. As the day went on and the rain got heavier we were pretty sure they were going to have to go with the alternate plan. Erin went ahead and called us and said they were having the graduation inside, graduates in the auditorium and parents all over the school watching it on big screen TVs. Then just as we were leaving Jason called (he was already there with Kelsie) and he said make sure you bring jackets and umbrellas because they have changed their minds and its in the football stadium! By this time it was really raining, and we were wondering what they were thinking. Well it didn't take long till we were really pretty wet and very cold. It was pretty clear it wasn't a good idea to keep a 6 year old and a 79 year old out in the rain and cold so Robert took my Mom and Emily home and I stayed to go home with Erin. She had it the worst, she didn't have a jacket or an umbrella and was soaked to the skin by the time the graduation was over. She is so great she just laughed about it all and made fun. After it was over we had a party at the house with all the people who didn't make it to the ceremony because of the rain. We had a great time celebrating Erin and her accomplishments, this will definitely be a graduation we will not soon forget.

Erin Ready for Graduation

Erin in her cap and gown

all the people in the rain

Grandma and Emily trying to stay dry (thats a vinyl table cloth I had in the back of my van over grandmas head)

Erin and her friend Elizabeth totally soaked right after graduation

Erin and some of her friends in the rain

Kristi, Joy and Erin at her party after she has a chance to change!

Erin and Grandma

Schools Out!!

Schools out!!!, Emily's done with kindergarten!!! and we are ready for summer!! Ok so I am writing this in July and the summer is half over but that is how I felt at the time!! Emily had a wonderful end of year program that was so much fun all of the kids dressed up like crayons and sang all the color songs. It was even funner because Grandma was here and was able to come and also Jessica and Erin were able to come too. So Emily was so happy! It was hard for her to say good-bye to her teacher Miss. Gora she was a brand new teacher this year and she did a great job, Emily learned so much and loved her teacher. It was a great year!

Grandma, Emily and Jessica

Emily and her classmates in their Crayon outfits


Emily all done with kindergarten

Miss. Gora and Emily

Emily and Mom

Grandma Came to Town

Grandma came to visit and we had so much fun!! She came for Erin's graduation and also got to be here for Emily's year end program and all kinds of family and friend gatherings. One day Mom and I went together to the temple which was really special we don't get to do that, just us two, very often. One thing you will notice in these pictures is Mom has gotten skinny!!! She has lost a whole lot of weight over the last year and she is so happy, she gets around so much better it has effected everything. It is like she lost 10 years with all the pounds.

Grandma and Brutus (Jes's dog, we watched him for a couple of days while Grandma was here)

All the Family

Grandma and the Kids

All the Girls at Chilli's

It has become a tradition every time my mom comes into town we have a girls lunch. It started with just Joy, Joyce, Mom and I then through the years as the girls got older we included Jessica, Kristi and Erin and now that Keith is married and Kevin has a special somebody we included Sarah and Ingrid too, and of course with the group this big there was no way to keep Emily away. It was a really fun lunch and great to see how our little circle has grown.

Moms Adventure

May 5th, 2008
Most of the time everyone expects and gets the same things from us. We are the moms, we are responsible, we have everything handled. Well much to everyones surprise we are actually people inside these mom suits and sometimes it gets a little stuffy in here. Sometimes you just want to break out and do something different something outside the ordinary. Well this was one of these times, Kevin had just left for the MTC and Joy was wondering what she was going to do with this empty nest she just got and I have a 6 year old and an 18 and 20 year old living with me, enough said. So being the responsible moms we are we decided a trip to a tropical island, leaving no forwarding address was out of the question and being the slightly chicken women we are we decided skydiving was also out of the question. We compromised on a day in Sedona and horseback riding. Now I know this does not sound daring and crazy to the average reader but given our families reaction you would have thought we had decided to train to become navy seals or something. This may be a sad commentary on how predictable we are, a day off usually consists of scrapbook stores, lunch and a movie. But never the less we wanted to do something different and we had a blast. We went up to Foothills Ranch just south of Sedona and had an actual cowboy be our guide it was so fun. After the horse back riding we went up to Sedona and enjoyed the beauty there and then went on a harrowing adventure trying to find a restaurant to have dinner. Finally we just gave up and went in this little Italian place and had the absolute best Pizza ever!! (Pagos Italian Cuisine in Sedona, AZ) We had a wonderful day and got to shock the socks off of our kids at the same time, two for one pretty cool huh!!

Joy on her horse Vegas AKA School bus (so named because he would let anyone ride him)

Our Cowboy or should I say Wrangler Brin
My Horse Maude she just wanted to eat I spent half my time pulling up the reigns so she wouldn't stop and snack along the trail
Jennie and Joy Cowgirls for the day
Sedona (Honest! I took this picture! it is so beautiful looks like a postcard)

The True Purpose of the Cardboard Box

Our microwave broke YEA! oh happy day!! Emily gets a new box!! We may have thought we were buying a new microwave that happened to come in a really big box but as far as Emily was concerned we just bought her a fantastic new toy and how soon would we be getting our dumb new microwave out of it. First it was a playhouse then it became a race car with Erin pulling Emily around with a jump rope tied through the handle of the box. Then it morphed into a nest as you can see in the picture where she has slept for the last several nights. This whole process got me wondering about the true purpose of the cardboard box. It was made to insure the safe transport of our microwave from the factory to the store and from the store to our house but maybe it is the lucky cardboard that gets to have the greater purpose of bringing joy to a child. Maybe in the cardboard box factory all the boxes talk at night about what they hope they will be once they get in the hands of their kid, a castle or a firetruck maybe a spaceship and they hope, hope, hope that they aren't bought some old guy with no grand kids and end up with a trip straight to the recyclers. I like to think their true purpose is to become a playhouse covered with markers and a crooked door cut out of the front. But then it's also possible I have read the 'Velveteen Rabbit' a few too many times.

One More Lunch

Ya wanna meet for lunch...... Whatca doing for lunch..... Where do U want to go?... I'm not picking this time it's your turn... How about Chilis.... Not Chilis AGAIN.....and on and on the texts go back and forth. Over the last few years much of my friendship with Kristi has taken place over a lunch table. Kristi and Erin were raised with it since they were ordering off the kids menu while Joy and I tried to talk over them. Mostly at McDonald's playplace in those days. So meeting for lunch out is an integral part of us so it seemed only right for us to have one more lunch before Kristi leaves tomorrow morning! It is quite strange to me I have known the kid for most all of her life, she sat on my lap when she was 4 and has been a part of our lives forever but somehow in the last few years she has become my friend. Not just as the daughter of my friend but as my friend too. She is crazy fun to be around and I am going to miss her terribly for the next 18 months. I will miss getting random texts, and hearing about the crazy kids in her class, I will miss her hugs and I will miss lunch, I will definitely miss lunch. But I am so proud of her and the great thing she is doing, going to Texas to preach the gospel and serve the Lord. I know it will be a fantastic year and a half for her and when she gets back, we will definitely do lunch!!

Easter

Just a few pictures of my girls on Easter Sunday. Arn't they Beautiful!! OK I am a little prejudiced but dang. The reason Jessica isn't in these beautiful girls pictures is because she went to Utah to visit her Grandma for Easter. (and Jason was sleeping!)

First Swim of the Season

It was very cold, and it didn't last very long, but Emily and her friend Holly took the first dip of the season this Saturday! It was really warm outside over 85 but the pool water is still very cold they had a lot of fun getting in and getting out and getting in again. They even got Erin to jump in with her clothes still on! (unfortunately she got away before I could get that on camera)

Kristi and Her Girls

During spring break we meet Kristi at the park and had a little photo shoot so she could have pictures of "her girls" (the Skousens, same girls we went to the snow with last month) and Emily to take on her mission we had a lot of fun posing them all over the place, it was a little interesting getting Annie the littlest to cooperate but in the end we got some really great pictures.

Kristi and Emily

Our toothless darling!!

Kristi and all of her girls

Kristi's girls acting crazy