Double edged sword

I was blow drying my hair yesterday and got to thinking (I have to take whatever opportunity to think that comes along) about my giant list of to do's and everything that needs to be done for my kids, Young Womens, school, the house, Robert, Christmas, our finances, my blog, my to be read book list, my diet - or lack thereof, the environment, ......... AUGH! I feel a bit over loaded, I think that is the normal for moms, at least the normal for me but it has become much more intense lately. In that moment I realised that this blog has become a lot like my journal, this wonderful place to express myself (here publicly, my Journal, a little more privately) a place to connect and share. But it has also become just like my journal in the pressure I feel just by it's very existence. It is always on my to do list always nagging at me, sometimes silently and sometimes actually (through comment by readers, honest I am not that crazy yet hearing voices from my blog) . This blog has become a double edged sword for me something wonderful when its good but something dark and draining when its bad. So I have decided to shake free of all of it. No, I am not shutting down my blog I am just rejecting the pressure, I will post when it makes me happy, period. If that is once a month, great, if its once every 2 months, fine, if its 3 times in one week, great! I am taking it off my to do list and taking it off my guilt list!!! Honestly I need to do this with many, many more things in my life but here it is manageable, controllable, and absolutely no one will be harmed in anyway if I am an inconsistent, undependable, blogger. I think I need to save my dependability and consistency for other things I would hate to run out.

We Start Young Aound Here!

Emily went to her first rock concert tonight!! We had so much fun! A couple of weeks ago I bought tickets to see Goo Goo Dolls on the 16th and Sheryl Crow on the 21st of October. These concerts have seemed doomed for us, I was going to see Goo Goo Dolls with Erin but she and I both got sick and couldn't go. Then Jessica was going to go see Sheryl Crow with me but she got sick today and couldn't go. I really didn't want to go by myself and Erin and Joy both had things they had to do. I figured I was just out of luck, then I thought "hey maybe Emily might want to go!" She did and we had a blast. It was so cute to see her out of her seat dancing to the music clapping along and totally loving the experience. Hey she is my kid after all!! The Concert was at the State Fair so afterward Emily went on a few rides and we had a really great night together. I think I have found a new concert buddy!

Maroon 5 and Counting Crows

September 10, 2008

Maroon 5

Counting Crows

Emily Johnson and Erin

Us Girls having fun

About 2 months ago Emily Johnson, one of the laurels in my class, came into Young Women's a little sad and unhappy. She had found out that Counting Crows was coming to Phoenix in concert but none of her friends wanted to go and her parents understandably didn't want her to go by herself. Then she remembered that I like Counting Crows (we talked bands on the drive back from the Trek) so she said "we should go Sister Bradfield". I am not sure if she was serious but I thought that would be fun so I told her it sounded like a great idea. When I got home I checked on tickets and talked to Erin and texted Emily and just like that we got tickets. It has been fun talking about it and looking forward to it and then it finally came. It was so much fun Emily is a blast to be around so sweet and fun and she and Erin together are even crazier and funner than each of them alone. The music was great Maroon 5 was way better than I expected and Counting Crows was great of course. This is the third time I have seen them in concert and they never disappoint me. I love live music you feel it rather than just hear it. Hmmm who should we see next.

My Gift of Perspective

I have been wallowing a bit lately its not pretty and definitely not something I am proud of but still true. Our ward just got moved to another stake which in and of itself is a good thing. All my girls in YW are now in the stake that most of the kids they go to school with are in. They will be with their seminary friends etc. for stake events. But as I began to hear murmurings and they are just that, murmurings it looks like there is a good chance the ward boundaries in the stake will be changed. We live in a tiny little jut of our ward, right on the border which would easily be split off and put into another ward. If this happens I of course will be released and I will be in a different ward than 90% of the people I have grown to love and be friends with in our ward. I have built my life around the Young Women, and my work there, maybe too much but still true nevertheless. Thinking of my life without my girls AND my friends in Elliot ward was bleak. So I wallow. As I was wallowing I was doing some blog stalking, checking out the blogs of friends of friends etc. I happened onto a Blog by Bethany's brother, Trey and his wife. (Bethany is one of Jessica's really good friends.) As I read I began to cry and then before long I knew I was done wallowing. I had been given the gift of perspective. Sometimes we can get so focused on tiny little things that the big picture becomes unclear. On this blog I read about how Treys wife Amber lost her baby sister, her mom delivered early and the baby was just not strong enough to survive, she lived a very short time and passed away. This baby was only 2 weeks earlier than Emily was and as I read I could see myself in Amber's mothers place and I felt so grateful for our Emily and all she has brought to our lives and so grateful she has been so healthy considering she was more than 9 weeks early and so ashamed I forgot all I have and all the Lord has done for me. If the ward splits it does, I know the Lord will look after me and make it OK or make me strong enough to find a new way. He always does I don't know why I can't hold on to that. I hate how easy it is to forget the big picture and I am grateful for this blogging medium so I could read baby Jades story and be reminded of how much the Lord loves all of us. Reading Amber's testimony through this, the hard questions and the loving acceptance of Gods will. It is amazing and testimony building. I felt the spirit so strongly in her words. There is so much of true importance in this life and it is so easy to get caught up in the unimportant, I am grateful for the Lord and his way and for my gift of perspective.

Emily's Broken Arm

Emily BROKE her arm!!! It was the weirdest thing a totally regular childhood fall, she tripped while she was getting out of a chair. She only fell like 2 feet onto carpeted floor! But it was unfortunately enough. At first I didn't take it totally seriously it just looked like a regular everyday kids fall, brush her off, kiss the owie, and on with the day. She was crying pretty good but Emily can be a little....shall we say whinny at times and Jessica was here so I figured she was putting on a good show for Sister. But then she started to look not right and she got all clammy and cold and sweating profusely at the same time. Well my crack first aid training kicked in (that would be from like a jillion years of girls camp) and it looked to me like she was going into shock. Well in my experience kids don't go into shock for regular everyday falls so I made a call to the doctors office. They thought she should be seen and of course they had no openings so we were off to Urgent care. I was still thinking this was just precautionary she was looking better and I couldn't imagine that fall had actually broken anything. But when the xrays came back I was wrong, she had broken both the radius (the big bone in your forearm) and the ulna, (the little one next to the radius). They are both incomplete breaks which means they were only broken partway through the bone, (about 75% of the radius and about 25% of the ulna). I guess this is fairly common in kids they call it a green stick fracture because it breaks like a green stick off a tree, it just bends and splinters instead of a sharp break. Fortunately it is no where near her growth plate and it should heal really well. They had us go to a pediatric orthopedist to get her cast which she will have to wear for a month and then she will get a brace that she will wear for another 2 months. It sounds like a long time but they said the healing should go really well they just want to protect it so there is no re injury. We have changed things a bit around here because she can't play actively much so we got her some Webkins and have been reading a lot, she is hooked on the Magic Tree house books and I have become well acquainted with Jack and Annie (the main Characters). I guess that is the story of life, something bad happens and then when you look hard, sometimes you have to look really, really hard you can see the good. So far in my life that is always true. Emily and I are really enjoying our time together reading and playing on the computer and just being together. She is such a joy in my life. I will be forever grateful for the Lords intervention on this one. :)

Emliy and her broken arm, just the splint, before she got her cast on. Look at that smile! Thank goodness for pediatriac pain meds!!

Emily getting her cast. (Thats Brownie in the backgroung getting her cast too)

Emily and her doggie, Brownie, Emily adopted this sad pup the day she broke her arm. Brownie broke her arm the very same day, imagine that! So these two are going through all this broken arm business together.

Weekend in Forks

Considering I told everyone I would be spending this weekend in Forks visiting with Bella, Edward and Jacob I figure I should report. I will give no spoilers I would hate to ruin this fantastic book for anyone but I just have to tell you I had a great weekend!! Breaking Dawn is sooooo good it is better than Twilight, definitely better than New Moon, and even better than Eclipse, my favorite up until now. I got the book Saturday at 10AM but couldn't start reading in earnest till 3pm and I finished up it's 754 pages this morning (Monday) if that gives you any idea how good it is. Everything I had hopped would happen happened but I never would have dreamed HOW it happened. Now those of you who aren't weird about books like me may wonder about my sanity right about now but we bookies are happy in our fantasy worlds. Don't knock what you don't understand, it's nice in here. Unfortunately the laundry and the dishes and the rest of my responsibilities have patiently awaited my return from Forks so I guess I better get back to my real life. But I will be searching for the next great adventure in the pages of a fantastic book.

My New Office

I really love my kids and I am not in any huge hurry to get them out of our house. I love having them around and am not looking forward to having an empty nest. (Now that we have Emily the nest won't be totally empty for awhile.) But there is one perk, lets call it compensation for missing them, and that is space!! Our house is not tiny, no one needs to feel sorry for us but with 4 kids and a dog our 2000 Sq ft were feeling a little cramped. When Jessica moved out it wasn't so cramped but there really was no extra, now..... Jason has moved out (he found a place with several friends) and we have an EXTRA room. Woo Hoo!! Ok honestly, I will miss the kid but he is 20 after all and I am just trying to look at the bright side here. So very quickly before anyone got any ideas I claimed his room and moved in. Now I have a place for my computer, all my Young Women stuff and for scrapbooking! Yea! I put a bed in there for guests, (I can share) and the random nap which you can see Buddy has already claimed. I have a litttle tv, my computer, and a place to sit and read, what more could a mom want. Oh guess what? It has DOORS too! that CLOSE! and LOCK! oh boy I think this may just be too much!